The Sewing Place

So I've been invited to a wedding

Vegegrow

So I've been invited to a wedding
« on: March 13, 2017, 22:16:29 PM »
I have been asked to accompany my Mum to an Indian wedding in July.. I have never met the Bride and Groom and its a huge day of ceremonies and enormous party I will meet all my SiL'S family for the first time  except her brother and sister who were the only members of her family to attend the wedding when she married my brother 25 years ago... the dress code is western formal or Indian ... its an all day affair finishing close to midnight...  so what do I wear long/ short dressy/ sparkly? do I need a hat /a fascinator???? really haven't a clue... don't think I want to wear a sari.. SiL says wear what your comfortable in ... leggings and a tunic top then :D any clues ...advice... please....
"The only place where housework comes before needlework is in the dictionary." ~Mary Kurtz

Francesca

Re: So I've been invited to a wedding
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2017, 22:23:11 PM »
Not Indian myself but I have lots of uni mates who are!

I know that dark colours are generally a no. Brighter the better! But no red and gold as that is bridal colours.

If tunic and leggings is what you're comfortable in they why not something closer to a salwar kameez? It's trousers (I believe can be tight or harem) with a long knee length tunic over the top. Can also add a scarf (dupatta) to drape over the shoulders but not necessary.







If you're not up for sewing something, I bet you could bridge the gap between Western formal and Indian with something nice from Monsoon or similar. I'd go for nice pedal pusher length trousers then a pretty kaftan-like blouse over the top. But the salwar kameez is probably very easy to sew and they look gorgeous!
« Last Edit: March 13, 2017, 22:29:25 PM by Francesca »

Ellabella

Re: So I've been invited to a wedding
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2017, 22:56:49 PM »
Wow, it will be an experience you'll never forget.

I went to a small wedding in Goa years ago, only about 500 people and it was wonderful.

I second Frans idea of a salwar kameez, much more comfortable than a sari amd more suited to western style of dressing.  Most westerners who try a sari look like badly stuffed mattresses.

Don't bother with a hat.  Go as brightly coloured as you are comfortable with.

Just remember July will be hot and high humidity, what part of India is it?

If you can get to and area with a good sized Indian population, thinking Bradford or Leicester you will find lots of shops that will give you some sort of idea, but Indian hospitality at weddings is amazing.  They will make you welcome whatever you choose to wear.
Desperately trying to alliterate in North Yorkshire

Goth Gardiner

Re: So I've been invited to a wedding
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2017, 23:02:09 PM »
"Cultural appropriation' is the latest PC thing so I would think carefully about wearing Indian-style clothes as someone may decide that they are offended.

I would go for a long dress or leggings and floatie but western-style tunic teamed with a scarf or shawl. But of course as brightly coloured and glittery as you wish.

BrendaP

Re: So I've been invited to a wedding
« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2017, 23:27:37 PM »
I agree with Goth.   If invitation says Western formal or Indian then you, as a westerner, should wear Western formal.

Strictly speaking formal means black tie for the men and evening dress for the women, but the last "formal" invitation I had actually meant "dress up nicely" - or "dress to impress" as DD's have put on their 40th birthday invites.

If I were in your position I would wear the sort of clothes you would wear to an English wedding.  It's mid summer so a nice summery dress, or if you really don't feel comfortable in dresses a smart trouser suit, and yes wear something on your head.  Add a bit of sparkle if you want to, but keep it western.

There are several Indian religions, I don't know anything about the others, but in a Sikh temple all women are asked to cover their heads.  It might be wise to have a large floaty scarf tucked into your bag just in case western headgear isn't suitable. 
Brenda.  My machines are: Caroline a Singer 201K-3 born in 1940, Thirza a Featherweight 221K born 1949, Azilia a Singer 201K born 1957 and and Vera, a Husqvarna 350 SewEasy about 20 years old. Also Bernina 1150 overlocker and Elna 444 Coverstitcher.
http://paternoster.orpheusweb.co.uk/

Vegegrow

Re: So I've been invited to a wedding
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2017, 07:55:47 AM »
Just remember July will be hot and high humidity, what part of India is it?
Sorry Ellabella its outside Coventry... should have put that in my original post    ..
"The only place where housework comes before needlework is in the dictionary." ~Mary Kurtz

Vegegrow

Re: So I've been invited to a wedding
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2017, 08:02:27 AM »

There are several Indian religions, I don't know anything about the others, but in a Sikh temple all women are asked to cover their heads.  It might be wise to have a large floaty scarf tucked into your bag just in case western headgear isn't suitable.
As I understand the 5 page invitation the more religious parts of the wedding are for close family only
"The only place where housework comes before needlework is in the dictionary." ~Mary Kurtz

Vegegrow

Re: So I've been invited to a wedding
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2017, 08:07:43 AM »

I would go for a long dress or leggings and floatie but western-style tunic teamed with a scarf or shawl. But of course as brightly coloured and glittery as you wish.
These sound a good option to me  any suggestions for the fabrics online as I don't think there are any Indian fabric shops in the middle of Suffolk having said that I have lots of remnants of silk dupion... not very drapey though
"The only place where housework comes before needlework is in the dictionary." ~Mary Kurtz

UttaRetch

Re: So I've been invited to a wedding
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2017, 08:19:46 AM »
Vege, take a look at Hampstead Bazaar or go for Lagenlook with added bling such as chandelier earrings, a sparkling necklace and bracelets.  Judi Dench is queen of this style of dressing.
What goes around comes around.

Vegegrow

Re: So I've been invited to a wedding
« Reply #9 on: March 14, 2017, 08:30:03 AM »
Thanks Utta that's really helpful
"The only place where housework comes before needlework is in the dictionary." ~Mary Kurtz

Francesca

Re: So I've been invited to a wedding
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2017, 08:39:37 AM »
"Cultural appropriation' is the latest PC thing so I would think carefully about wearing Indian-style clothes as someone may decide that they are offended.

I would go for a long dress or leggings and floatie but western-style tunic teamed with a scarf or shawl. But of course as brightly coloured and glittery as you wish.

If the invite says Indian dress and you're attending an Indian wedding then you have been invited to experience the culture. Cultural appropriation is about taking an element of a culture and demeaning it.

I'd use this as an excuse to enjoy a different culture and really feel part of it. If someone decides to be offended that's their choice!

Salwar kameez isn't really a sacred thing, it's just clothes.

UttaRetch

Re: So I've been invited to a wedding
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2017, 08:52:22 AM »
'Cultural appropriation' is the latest stick with which to beat people and I saw a rather heated discussion on another sewing site (you know the one  ;) ).  In the absence of a dress code, I would go for something suitable to the occasion (a celebration) and weather (summer).
What goes around comes around.

BrendaP

Re: So I've been invited to a wedding
« Reply #12 on: March 14, 2017, 09:20:02 AM »
My friend's son married an Indian girl a couple of years ago; from what I remember of the photos all of his family wore conventional western clothes (except for the groom during the Hindu religious part) and the bride's family wore Indian clothes.  Bride herself is very westernised, lives in jeans and has never worn a sari in her life.  She wore a simple floor length silver grey dress but added quite a bit of Indian style bling.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2017, 10:34:26 AM by BrendaP »
Brenda.  My machines are: Caroline a Singer 201K-3 born in 1940, Thirza a Featherweight 221K born 1949, Azilia a Singer 201K born 1957 and and Vera, a Husqvarna 350 SewEasy about 20 years old. Also Bernina 1150 overlocker and Elna 444 Coverstitcher.
http://paternoster.orpheusweb.co.uk/

Francesca

Re: So I've been invited to a wedding
« Reply #13 on: March 14, 2017, 09:29:54 AM »
'Cultural appropriation' is the latest stick with which to beat people and I saw a rather heated discussion on another sewing site (you know the one  ;) ).  In the absence of a dress code, I would go for something suitable to the occasion (a celebration) and weather (summer).

Yeah my thinking is it's a bit different if they send you an invite literally asking you to wear from a selection of clothing haha.

But I think it's easy enough to do the tunic and leggings look if that is what Vegegrow is happy with and just "bling it up". I know that for an Indian wedding you really really can bling it up. The girls wear full, thick eye makeup and big eyelashes and everything. My friend is an Indian wedding make-up artist and the stuff she does is astounding even if much heavier than our conventional "blushing bride" look. My colleague got married in December and she went for traditional Indian style shape to her outfit(s) but in white and gold so more British bride.

Ellabella

Re: So I've been invited to a wedding
« Reply #14 on: March 14, 2017, 10:28:04 AM »
Sorry Ellabella its outside Coventry... should have put that in my original post    ..

I suppose that makes me culturally insensitive to assume an Indian wedding would be in India, Coventry will at least be much easier to get to.

Desperately trying to alliterate in North Yorkshire