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Messages - Francesca

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Today... / Re: Thursday 18th January
« on: Yesterday at 21:58:20 »
Tell your poxy landlord that there is a right to 'peaceful enjoyment' of rental properties.  He clearly isn't giving you that, so is in breach of contract...I BET you the clause says exactly that, most landlords use a standard format..

That is a good idea. It's frustrating because while they aren't my fence panels, it is my garden (as I provide a substantial fee to have the sole use of it) and it's horrid to have them all blown down all the time. Also if they fall the wrong way they could break my pots :( (luckily they always seem to fall into the neighbours' garden!)

In other news I got a pizza to enjoy after my horrible day. Been very good all week, 5lbs down since the beginning of the year, but today is a special case.

The Cafe / Re: The Rant Thread
« on: Yesterday at 18:10:03 »
Had HR meeting and meeting with senior. Both went excellently. Especially the one with my senior who straight up debunked a lot of what my boss has said as preposterous, false, et cetera and was also very happy to hear the things I was saying (and are easily corroborable) because he wasn't aware and now is. Also although it shouldn't be about winning and losing, I'm quite pleased to say that one point of contention we all had was that he said "senior manager cannot come to that meeting". Well, the senior manager told me he's coming to the meeting. That was a nice thing to hear because it will prove him wrong. I was quite giddy with it. But hey, let's see how this pans out.

The Cafe / Re: The Rant Thread
« on: Yesterday at 14:37:10 »
Why or how do so many arseholes become bosses or does the job make them like that because they can't really cope with it?
In my last 3 years before retiring I (reluctantly) had management responsibility for 120 people.  I was constantly berated and criticised by my own line manager because I refused to be a bully.  The vast majority of my colleagues respected me and worked incredibly hard because they wanted to and not because they were scared not to.  I was with about 50 of them at a funeral a couple of weeks ago having not seen most of them for 7 years and I think just about every one came and spoke to me.

Personally the arsehole bosses have usually ended up being men who got there due to hours served not management ability, and thus have no clue how to manage people.

My best friend is a talent manager and responsible for hundreds of people across many offices all over the country and abroad. She's also younger than me, only 25. She is great at her job because she's got the knack not because she served her time for 30 years and got promoted because it was "about time".

I disagree with promotion to management based on tenure, it should be based on skill (training can only go so far). But a lot of people seem to become managers when they shouldn't be.

The Cafe / Re: The Rant Thread
« on: Yesterday at 11:00:57 »
I never used to be that great at it, but I've dealt with enough arsehole bosses now that I'm not afraid any more.

Today... / Re: Thursday 18th January
« on: Yesterday at 10:59:15 »
Horrible gum swelling continues. Today I have two stressful meetings to attend. I started my day off with a 2.5 hour commute due to problems. I pay £4k a year and can I get a train on time ever? Nope.

Was aiming to get in early so I can leave early but ended up getting in later than expected (was aiming for 8, ended up getting in at 9.30) so I will have to work late to make up the time, thus 13hrs out of the house today  :(

Oh and also all our fence panels blew down so I have to yet again explain to the landlord that for the SEVENTH TIME PLEASE REPLACE THE ROTTEN FENCE POSTS AND PUT A PROPER CONCRETED SOLUTION IN SO THEY DON'T BLOW DOWN EVERY TIME THERE IS WIND. We've been here two years and the fence panels have blown down seven, yes seven times.

The Cafe / Re: The Rant Thread
« on: Yesterday at 10:56:24 »
A colleague said she had considered it but wasn't sure if it was OK. I am not going to look for another job. I like this place to much, sans this one thorn. The rest of the job is fantastic.

The Cafe / Re: The Rant Thread
« on: January 17, 2018, 22:07:50 PM »
I do wonder... though I think it's more because he knows once he gets in a room with you he can just tell you no and make up reasons. He often tells me "I've been told by "people" that this is the way it has to be" but then won't say who the people are when questioned (which shouldn't be an issue. It's not dobbing someone in. In a business I should be able to go talk to that person and explain to them why I disagree too, or ask for further clarification). I expect it's because they never said it. I think he feels that behind closed doors he can simply push his agenda unquestioned. Perhaps that is a form of bullying. If you call him out on it in front of people he often backs down.

The fact he doesn't want me to discuss things with senior management to me smacks of arse-covering. Also removing people from meetings is arse-covering. He perhaps doesn't want people to know what is going on.

The Cafe / Re: The Rant Thread
« on: January 17, 2018, 21:17:20 PM »
It's just so ridiculous all round. At one point he was accusing me of making stupid/angry/rude faces at him in a previous meeting - absurd! Everyone else at the table was saying "what? That never happened". My colleague even piped up to say she was sitting directly opposite me and never saw any of that.

It all kicked off because another colleague raised that she was very angry about a new person to the company being blocked access to a meeting. We have fortnightly "reflection" meetings where we discuss points that were good, were bad etc. A newbie was denied access to this meeting for no reason by my boss and she was very much in disagreement about it.

He said that we couldn't have other people in the reflection meeting because "it needs to be a safe space for people to air complaints about their seniors". I said "well what if I have a problem with my senior. You're invited to the meetings, so it's not a safe space for me to discuss you". That seemed to send him over the edge.

He also told me point blank that I wasn't allowed to give criticism to upper management about processes that affect my job. I told him that's not his decision to make. If I have feedback, I will deliver it. I'm professional and I have expertise and sometimes senior management need to know what isn't working (not in a rude way, just it's important for them to know. And my senior management are usually pretty open). But anyway, he said that I wasn't allowed to do that and I told him I'm an adult and technically I can do what I like and if that causes me to get fired on my head be it, not his decision to make  :fish:

Anyway... so many rants to be had.

The Cafe / Re: The Rant Thread
« on: January 17, 2018, 21:02:54 PM »
Had a meeting today with the horror boss. It got very heated. It was my entire team and it was rather horrible. He was so angry at one point I could see him physically shaking. He was so aggressive! I admit, I was asking some quite pertinent questions and as one of my colleagues (who is only 21, this is his first job) said, "I wouldn't have the balls to speak to a manager like that".  :o Hopefully I haven't overstepped my mark though, as I feel I delivered what I needed to say in a very eloquent way even if it was not what he wanted to hear and not remotely positive.

At one point he said to the group that we would all have to have individual discussions with him in private to which I pointed out that I did not feel comfortable being in a room with him alone considering his current aggressive behaviour.

This was in an open office and people were really looking at him when he was raising his voice. I'm glad I have my team behind me, but I need to make sure it doesn't impact my job going forward.

I've arranged a meeting with HR for tomorrow, mainly to ask them to be in our next 1-to-1 meeting so that there cannot be excess aggression and stick by my claim that I don't feel comfortable. I am a pretty damn thick skinned so I'm not concerned about him "hurting my feelings" or anything but it's more to have a witness and to stop him being incredibly aggressive.

I'm also going to ask for him to no longer be my line manager, in charge of my personal development etc. Too much conflict of interest if we disagree on ways of working but also how can I expect this person to be in charge of my personal development and wellbeing at the company if he is the source of my stress.

Today... / Re: Wednesday 17th January
« on: January 17, 2018, 13:33:59 PM »
I was lucky that as a child my Dad paid Denplan, so I had the same dentist my whole childhood (all the way up to 18). It all went wrong when I went to university. There were never enough NHS dentists available in the city, which is small anyway but experiences massive population growth of young, generally not very affluent students. The NHS "places" would get taken up quickly and you'd be left with no dentist around. There was one dentist that still had spaces, and we all know why. All of my friends who attended there called it "the barbershop" because it was HORRIBLE. I had about 3 visits there and then gave up because it was horrible (oh and also they spent 6 months chasing me for non-payment for a treatment I never had).

That's why as soon as I was offered a chance at corporate dental I took it. It doesn't cost too much per year but it takes the weight off my mind.

Anyway, I've gone ahead and booked at the new place for next week. Hopefully I can discuss with the new dentist about getting one or two of the teeth taken out. I just want them gone for good.

Today... / Re: Wednesday 17th January
« on: January 17, 2018, 12:36:47 PM »
Can we swap dentists?

My next nearest dentist is £85 for an initial consultation  :x I do have insurance, but I specifically picked insurance coverage based on my current dentist's prices. (I get £70 of consultation reimbursed a year, and theirs is £29.50 rather than £65) and I also get 80% back from any fillings etc. Problem is I have used £30 for standard consultations this year, so I've only got £40 in the bank, and the initial consultation at the new place is double that. Hence why I'm wondering if it's best to just stick with what I have. Their fillings are also much more expensive with white ones being £125 vs £60 (I'd pay £25 or £12 respectively which isn't so bad) but that initial consultation fee is my concern. They do look like a nicer dentist though, and they're a walk away from my house vs a drive which might be good if I ever do have to go on the laughing gas!

Today... / Re: Tues 16th (wet again)
« on: January 17, 2018, 12:00:54 PM »
You mean it not just me? :[

Apparently not. I thought it was just me too, but I asked my friend and she said it happens to her. Now I feel every so slightly less embarrassed.

Today... / Re: Wednesday 17th January
« on: January 17, 2018, 11:59:02 AM »
Woke up with half my face swollen up due to the gum around a lower wisdom tooth swelling horribly. It started yesterday. I hoped it would go down but it hasn't. So painful.

I am desperate to have the tooth taken out (and the one above it too). I had one wisdom tooth removed on the other side and what a joy it has been not worrying about it and getting pain all the time. The two on this side are badly decayed, and a dentist has filled the bottom one twice and the top one twice which have both further disintegrated over the years. I have a tiny mouth, and as much as I try I cannot get it adequately clean. I've begged the dentist to rip the two out so I don't have to worry about them any more, but he says no they have to stay and be filled over and over again. I'm so sick of it. I just want them gone!

Considering going to a different dentist for a second opinion but they all want you to pay for a special "first visit" appointment before you go and it's so much hassle and cost (I am afraid of the NHS, where you get no say in dentists, because I am petrified of needles and the last man stuck me 5 times in one appointment because he couldn't get it right). So I feel like I want to stick with my current dentist as he knows my fears and is very good with the needle but he is the one who won't pull the teeth. Even just one, the top one, which won't require surgical removal at all as it's fully descended and easy to get at... Oh I just wish.


@Bodgeitandscarper there is a little plus in green below the poll. Click that, click "Remove vote" and you can start afresh.

Welcome to The Dark Side / Re: Blue quilt
« on: January 17, 2018, 11:50:56 AM »
Hmm, I must admit I'm really quite afraid of strips. As that is exactly where I went wrong last time, and I can see it going wrong again as I'm not that "neat" and accurate.

Can anybody recommend another design that might work? Preferably that isn't all HSTs as I'm so bored of them, but also works with 10 different fabrics? I would prefer modern look too, rather than the traditional sort of folky American stars looks (I'm sure they're not American originally, but they have that look). My living room has a very "scandi" feel.

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