The Sewing Place
The Emporia => Sewing Professionally => Topic started by: Kwaaked on February 22, 2019, 15:35:31 PM
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So on Wednesday, I got an email asking me to make a dress for free. Not any dress, a formal. With bullet points.
Made of silk.
A specific Pantone color
Spiral bones, no plastic
Combination of 4 dresses, told to google pics
Custom made corset on top of all this.
...in 2 weeks.
I replied that it was going to be a minimum of $2500 plus a $500 rush fee and cost of material, and a full estimate with the non-refundable material cost and rush fee due when the estimate/contract was signed.
Got ANOTHER email, with bullet points! Nope, she didn't want to pay!
For exposure since she was an influencer in the area (whopping 85 followers on IG)
Grandma was in hospital
Baby brother was ill so parents couldn't pay
Lot of pllllllls, come ons and means so much!
Said no. Got another email last night calling me all kinds of wonderful names. Hoped I died and had someone cut my head off and have sexual intercourse with my bloody stump. Didn't reply, got another message begging me, pllls, pls, PLS! Ignored that, got 14 more emails (I did not answer all of them), the last saying I sewed badly and a few other places would love her business.
Ignored that and got her on FB messenger right now. Begging again and trying to bully me into doing it. Getting to hear how everyone is cheaper, is better, is friendlier and what makes me think I am so special?
I replied "Because I am the only on in 4 counties that has an education, professional certifications and can do actual design work."
She replied: "I knooooow...why do you think I messaged you?! Pls! You can do this for me, I deserve it!"
At this point, all I can do is laugh about it.
I
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Seriously? For real?
What planet is she on?
Love the 'influencer' with a whole 85 followers.
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Who knows? At first I was a little taken aback, now I'm just amused by the whole thing. Who does this?
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Advice on trollers like this is to ignore them. Any attention only encourages them.
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What puzzles me, is does this approach actually work? Has she had other artisans just give her product? It boggles the brain.
A page I follow, which has a swear'y name so I won't mention it here; the page/business owner posts the occasional post titled "emails from people who don't like us very much". Almost always these will be from people who want their product NOW! ignoring the delivery times clearly stated on the website, or who think they can bargain down the price. These are not mass produced items. They are either handmade one-off's or small run productions, and she is not a huge corporation. Top it off, the whole business is to support an orphanage and support programs in a small village in the Phillipines. And yet the number of people who feel they can be demanding, or abuse her because she won't bow to their unreasonable demands, is laughable.
Stick to your guns, make the content of her emails public if you want (I wouldn't recommend posting her name) and then move on to your genuine customers.
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Wow, what a b****y cheek. I’d want to know what she did for a living and if she does anyth8ng for free for what could account for many many hours. Bet she wouldn’t.
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Wow, she's not making it easy for you to say yes, is she!
I'd love to reply with Hoped I died and had someone cut my head off and have sexual intercourse with my bloody stump. in the email that asked her 'what, if anything, in this email makes you think I'd want to work with you.'
And follow up with everyone is cheaper, is better, is friendlier and that you sew badly
then block her.
But you can't because we all know she'd get on IG a wind up all the friends & followers to try & destroy your business.
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What I can never understand is why they say "everyone is cheaper/better" etc and not just go to them in the first place.
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Influencer - I always read sponger.
Actually, I have my own influencers - people who have paid for a job and are so delighted they tell their friends.
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I assume some of it is seeing this stuff work on the internet, and trying for herself. While influencer is a viable marketing technique, I am not at the point I need to do it, nor do I have a business model that it is necessary even if I was.
Saying that, this is a high school kid. I emailed the sentence "I am going to leave this here..." and a link to a reddit forum. Just one of those things I didn't want to take it too public and still wanted to share because who does this?
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I would personally share the hell out of it, ESPECIALLY on sewing fora, so that no one who might be an easier touch gets fingered by her. So to speak
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I don't think she's done anything so bad, that she warrants being dragged through the streets naked. Sure, she has shown herself to be an entitled brat, with a potty mouth. But she hasn't attempted this online. She has gone local, targetting a seamstress in her community, and attempting to get product locally for free. Plus, she's a (I assume as you mentions she's a high schooler) a child, so therefore you would need to be carefully about identifying her online. Finally, despite her poor behaviour, you have no idea how a public takedown might impact on her, both socially and emotionally. If you could guarantee that your actions would only deliver a (virtual) smack on the hand and a lesson about doing better, then go for it. But teenagers are capricious, selfish and self centred, and yet can sometimes also manage to be complex, fragile and easily hurt. It doesn't excuse her behaviour, but it that behaviour doesn't justify our own poor behaviour.
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But teenagers are capricious, selfish and self centred, and yet can sometimes also manage to be complex, fragile and easily hurt. It doesn't excuse her behaviour, but it that behaviour doesn't justify our own poor behaviour.
Dead right @datcat23 . How things have changed over the years. If my mother had seen that I would have been marched round to apologise. What you might call the Snowflake generation.
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I don't normally add to a post, but I considered that the timezones may play a part.
My post may raise the argument "She needs to know that she did the wrong thing", and perhaps she does, but I think we as the practicing adults here, need to consider the environment she will be learning her lesson in.
I was a properly noxious, selfish teenager, and I was not above trying to lie, to get something I wasn't entitled to. Mostly alcohol. But, when I did something wrong, the wrong-doing was local, and so were the consequences.
This girl, in my time, would have been picking a fight with the local bridal boutique. She would have been told no, showed the door, and if she was lucky, her parents would have heard about it before she got home. At the least, she would have suffered punishment at their hands. At the worst, she would have suffered the disapproval of her teachers, sniffy looks from other shop owners, and a good deal of sniggering from her age mates (at her failure). And it would have passed.
Yes, its a digital age, and so her attempt reflected that (claim to be an "influencer") and therefore the audience is wider. But the consequences for stuffing up, and poorly judging her reach, are a great deal bigger. Reddit can be a cruel place at times, and often the social expectations change depending on the person, so its a bigger stick that can deliver a consequence. And so the outcome can have a much bigger, and more savage impact. But, she is still a silly child, who thought she could big mouth her way in the world, and instead inserted her foot.
Just my thoughts guys ....... I work with kids, and I know how they can do your head in at times.
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For the record, I didn't post anything on reddit. I simply posted a link to their choosingbeggars forum. The implied threat was go away, kid, I could post this here.
I don't expect it to go any further, and I haven't gotten any more emails since. Nor am I worried if I get a few bad reviews, which I don't expect to get either. I figure most of it is the fact that I present myself in my own community as a bit high maintenance and somewhat of a snob (which I can chalk it up to having god level RBF and a personalty that comes across as cold and reserved) and from what I have been told about her, this is how she wants to be. So it was both a weird experience and a back handed compliment. And she wanted a specific dress she isn't going to be able to get unless it is made, but can't afford it so she did what a lot of people do and try to offer exposure for the trade.
Being a kid now is much harder then it was in the 90s. All the stupid things you do now is able to be posted to the internet for everyone to see and make fun of. As to warning others...I'm much younger then the others in my area and the only one on social media, so sharing isn't going to do much for them.
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Being a kid now is much harder then it was in the 90s. All the stupid things you do now is able to be posted to the internet for everyone to see and make fun of.
And will still be findable for years to come.
In the past the only one who remembered the time you made a total fool of yourself was probably you.
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aaahhh thankyou for the clarification @Kwaaked . I am not part of reddit, so was unaware what you were linking to, but I see you probably had the same thought processes as I did.
I have witnessesed (and to my shame, been part of) witch hunts in the past, and it never goes well for anyone. I think there is a focus sometimes, on the wish for not just justice, but visible justice. A chance for a mob to express righteous outrage, and receive validation.
I hope she learns a lesson in restraint. That sometimes yes, you do get things for free, but its up to you to judge when that is likely, and not overstep your reach. It can be a hard lesson in the digital era, but sometimes it takes a few goes before they get it.
Again thanks for clarifying, and for your explanation. I can occasionally get a bit "preachy" sounding, so I appreciate you (and everyone) taking my post so nicely.
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No worries @mudcat
The forum is a place where stories like this get posted all the time. Everyone takes names out, but still. An eye opener for sure.
I deal with a lot of kids in my community...weirdly I am the go to place on the weekend, unless I am working with clients and then they get told to get off my lawn. I just came home from opening the shop (half of it is an actual garage) for one of the boys and half a dozen other kids to fix his truck.
If I did post things that happen, I'd have a lot of kids in a bit of a pickle. Not the popular ones, nor ones like who asked but kids that need someplace to go or an adult that they can trust or rely on. Kind of a tight wire. Me, it was funny and no harm no foul, because I don't work for exposure but it could do a lot of residue damage for the kids it does matter to.
But let's face it, admitting I did this stuff for some of the kids is no fun and it ruins my reputation. :[
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:angel: How will it ever recover??? ;)
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It won't, so I carefully cultivated them into taking my trash out and standing at my doorway giving them the evil eye for all passerby to see I hated kids. :D
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That’s so funny, abuse, charms has the making for a good film for Saturday afternoons.