(1) hunt and catch your quilt.........."what the dickens is this under my sewing table. Oh yeah, I did that months ago and
hated it."
(2) After capture and rendering lifeless, examine the pelt........"Lordy that is some ugly quilting and basting"
(3) Spread your lifeless prey on the floor and grab a really sharp blade......"Where's that old scalpel of mine..insert
rummaging noises at this point.....aha, triumphant and...ouch!...pass me the bandaids please
"
(4) Kneel on the floor and gently prise a corner of pelt free by carefully slicing under the pelt and through threads by working from underneath the skin, seperating the 3 layers as you go/slice ......"Geez, how many blooming stitches did I put in this thing?
"
(5) Continue gently separating the outer skin from inner innards making sure not to pierce the pelt....."Do I really want to do this, it's like performing a muscle dissection."
(6) Work quickly and deftly...........DON'T! "
(7) Repeat (4) and (5) for the next 4 hours swapping from floor, to table, to floor, to kitchen bench....to scotch cupboard...repeat....
(
Do not be startled by anyone, remember you're holding a scalpel..... "Oh my is that the time? Surely Mr.Ruby you
don't want any dinner tonight?
Me? well yes I did think it would be nice to stay in my Pjs' all day.....are you
SURE it's tea time already...where has the day gone?????
(9) Finally, after rubbing feeling back into your hands and knees admire your skinned beast, yep, no holes in the pelt, yep innards intact and look serviceable, yep mega headache present and booming, yep scotch bottle almost empty, yep heading for the headache and muscle ache meds and the heat bags right now!
(10) Write a strong note to yourself and sticky tape it to your sewing machine....
"DONOT ever contemplate skinning a quilt again...ever!"